Life and Rebirth
by Cpt. Ritter
Summary: John Sheppard never let go of Teyla. Sequel to Life and Pain.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Chapter Beta'd by Angw_

_Life is different now, even I can admit that. When I think about it, the biggest thing I miss is being able to laugh and talk to my friends... and Teyla. Just to hold her again would be something I would do anything for._

_The others don't see things the same way. They refuse to admit that I am not like them... I haven't given up all human ties. I guess the only reason I agreed to ascend was because the alternative was to be dead. At least in this way, I could be a silent support for the woman I love._

_I promised I'd never leave her side, and I never will. I haven't left it since I disappeared from her perception. It would be so easy to leave, to finally let go, but I can't bring myself to do that. It would betray everything I still am; it would betray just how much I love her._

_Time is abstract. I can't understand how it's actually happening. I just try and follow Teyla, making sure she is safe__. Awareness blossoms into my mind and I feel Chaya's presence. I push her back to the fringes of my thoughts._

_"You can't stay with her John." Chaya says, if you could call it speaking._

_"I won't leave her." I reply, determination etched into my soul. I continue my vigil, occasionally brushing the wind across her, just a reminder that I'm there._

_Then I feel malice, hate. I've never felt this before. I expand my mind, taking in all the area at once. Then I see it... wraith! I desperately try to send Teyla a warning, but I feel Chaya block it. She's not alone. The others have joined her._

_I can feel as she's stunned, a wraith standing triumphantly over her. Finally, I unleash everything with my mind. Half of it against the others and Chaya. The remainder of my energies take the wraith down in a hailstorm of natural fury. As the smoke clears, I know she's safe, but I know I'll pay forever._

_The others descend on me._

_"I'm sorry John." I hear Chaya say before everything goes black._

_I'm not sorry. I would do it all again._

XXX

Teyla was shook back to consciousness by Aiden. She quickly realized she was in the infirmary. Suddenly, the memories poured back into her. How had she survived, she had seen the wraith stand over her, triumphant. Then she had passed out from the effects of the stunner.

"How?" She asked Aiden.

"I don't know." Aiden glances nervously around. "The wraith were all hit by lightning strikes at the exact moment. Out of nowhere."

"Not to mention impossible." Rodney stated from across the infirmary.

"Do you think it was Colonel Sheppard?" Aiden asked quietly.

Teyla reached out with her feelings. Normally she could feel a small tingle. She had always associated it with John's nearby presence. Now there was nothing. "I do not know."

Carson walked over, a pad in hand. He glanced at Teyla's EKG readings. "Well lass, it looks like you'll be fine. You can go anytime. Just pop the pads off.

Teyla reached under the hospital scrubs and took the monitors off. She took her normal clothes from one of the nurses and went into the back room to change. She came out feeling better, the stunner's effect having worn completely off.

She was pleasantly surprised to see Elizabeth had shown up while she was changing. "Doctor Weir." Teyla acknowledged the woman with a polite nod.

"I just got off the radio with the Athosians." Elizabeth said. "There's something you all have to see on the mainland."

Teyla turned to Rodney. "Doctor McKay, would you be so kind as to fly us?"

"Right." McKay said absently, hopping off the bed.

XXX

Teyla smiled as she saw the Athosian settlement. It was looking more and more like home. The white tents were arrayed in neat rows, with small fields for the children to play in, and large farming lands on the outskirts.

Rodney set the jumper down in a small landing area in the middle of the settlement that had just been constructed, since supplies frequently came from Atlantis. Teyla stood and walked to the back of the jumper, with Aiden and Rodney just behind her.

She wasn't prepared to ever see what she saw coming towards her, with Halling and Jinto on either side of him. Standing in between them stood John Sheppard. Her breath nearly stopped; her heart nearly stopped. Then she ran towards him.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Chapter 2 Beta'd by Angw_

_Something inside me tells me that I should know who this is coming towards me. She wraps her arms around me and I just let myself respond by instinct. My arms close around her, trying to grasp the memory I know I should have._

_There can't be any other explanation. Somehow, I've forgotten everything, including something so special that it hurts not to remember it._

XXX

He didn't resist, but she could feel something was out of place. She stifled the tears of join and sadness, pushing herself away. Her heart felt both happiness and pain at the same time. Happiness that he was back, living in a form she could share. Pain that he could not remember her.

She looked to Halling, pleading silently for him to explain.

Halling placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, drawing her away. "A hunting party found him in the forest, naked and without any idea as to who and what he was. They brought him back. I told him who he was, and then I called Doctor Weir."

Teyla turned to find Rodney gesturing wildly, drawing a very large grin from John. She stepped up to him, trying to find the words to explain what it meant to her.

He beat her to it. "I know you." He said, pointing a finger at her. "I don't know how, but I know you... it hurts not to be able to remember it."

"John." Teyla said quietly.

"I remember telling you call me that." John eyebrows scrunched in, as if he was deep in thought.

"I love you. You died, and then ascended."

"Ascended?" John was clueless.

"To a higher plain of existence." Rodney said. "I believe you did something they considered wrong and hence why you're back here."

"But I don't remember any of that?"

Aiden held up a hand. "Wait a minute, I think it's possible for you to remember. I read a report back at the SGC about Doctor Jackson."

"Thatssssssssssasasasa right." Rodney replied. "So very right. We just need to stimulate his memory."

Teyla held out her hand to John, an invitation that only he could accept. Their eyes met for what seemed like an eternity. He saw the pain and love in her eyes, she saw the desperate need to grasp the memories so tied to her. He took her hand.

She took him back to the puddle jumper. He still looked clueless as to what was going on but something must have appeared in his mind.

"Puddle jumper." He said, a grin on face. He pointed to Aiden. "I remember naming it."

"Gate-ship." Rodney said sarcastically.

"No, puddle jumper." John replied, the ecstasy from the memory clear on his face.

XXX

_I can see it in her eyes. The love, the pain, the desire for me to remember her. It feels more like a blur now. I know I met her, but I can't remember anything specific. She's calmly explaining how I died. It all seems very abstract, but it feels right._

_The only thing I can trust is my feelings. They don't lie like my memories do._

XXX

Teyla took John's hand once again when they stood to leave the jumper. She had so many things she had to remind him of. Bit by bit, she was sure his memory was returning. Her pain was gradually being warped into happiness. He would remember, she was sure of it.

Elizabeth was waiting as the back hatch opened. She smiled warmly. "Welcome back John."

John pointed frantically at her, as if grasping on a memory again. "You got me to come here!"

"That's right John." Elizabeth replied, smiling broadly. "Doctor Beckett wants to see you in the infirmary."

"I hate infirmaries." John replied, not recognizing his own attempt at humor.

Teyla smiled, remember a number of escape attempts by him from the infirmary. She led him down to the infirmary, where a very happy Carson Beckett was waiting.

The Scottish doctor shook his head. "Never thought I'd be grateful to see you in my infirmary."

"You fired that drone at me." John said.

"Aye, it was an accident." Carson grinned broadly. "But I'd hope you would've found a better memory than that."

John shook his head.

Carson sighed and motioned for John to lay down on the scanner. "Okay, now just hold still." He quickly ran to scanner over John. He smiled at the results, saving them to the laptop. "You're one hundred percent healthy."

Teyla turned to Elizabeth. "I was wondering if we could watch John's football game."

Elizabeth smiled. "I'll have Rodney set it up."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Chapter 3 Beta'd by Angw_

_As I watch this the memories flood into me. Childhood memories of being with my parents. High school memories of my first crush, being on the football team. Memories of my military training. Finally, it all culminates. I remember what this game was all about._

_As the team celebrates, I jump for joy. That was a Hail Mary... this expedition is the biggest Hail Mary in history. I smile broadly, thankful that I can remember everything. "Hail Mary." I said, pointing at the screen. "That was a Hail Mary!"_

XXX

Teyla smiled at the memory. John had explained football to her while her people were still in the city. He had then proceeded to bond with the Athosians like no member of the expedition had. He had told the children bedtime stories, about strange people with knives and hockey masks. He had also taught them how to play his beloved game.

She looked at him to catch him staring at her. She gazed up into his eyes and realized that he was remembering everything. All of the events were replaying in his mind. She leaned on his shoulder and his arm wrapped comfortably around her arm.

"Got any other movies?" John asked, hopeful.

Rodney rolled his eyes, then tapped his radio. "Zelenka, got any good movies?" A pause. "Fine, that'll do."

"I take it you remember a lot more now then you did before?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes." John replied. "Some of it's still kinda fuzzy, but I remember it all."

"You know... you should introduce Teyla to a chick flick."

John thought for a second, trying to remember what a chick flick was. When he did, a look of horror replaced the look of joy from his face. "No way! Absolutely no way I'm ever sitting through one of those movies!"

"John, what is a chick flick?" Teyla asked, too innocently.

If looks could kill, then the look John gave Elizabeth was lethal. Elizabeth smugly sat down on the couch. "I wonder what it is that Zelenka is sending up?"

XXX

No surprise, Elizabeth had planned it with Zelenka. Rodney hadn't stayed past the opening credits. John would've left it Teyla would've let him, but there was no escaping her grasp. Unfortunately, half way through the movie, John was snoring quietly. His head was against Teyla, his hand unconsciously still around her.

Teyla mercifully let him sleep. She however, was completely engaged in the movie. If Elizabeth didn't know better, she would've thought Teyla hadn't even noticed John was asleep. As the ending credits rolled, Teyla gently woke John up.

"So what, did they finally get together?" He asked, completely in the dark as to what had happened, but guessing based on the movie.

"Yes John." Teyla replied. "Are you truly so tired?"

"No, just bored. Next time it's an action movie." He stood up, gently letting go of Teyla. "Now, I remember having a room. Where is it?"

Teyla led him to his former quarters. Some of his stuff had been packed up, but not all of it. It was partially because no one wanted to be reminded that he had been dead, the other part was that there was more important things to do.

John retrieved his guitar from the corner. "Did I ever tell you I could play this?" He said, glancing at Teyla.

"I believe you mentioned it, but I have never seen you play it?"

John smiled. "Okay, then let me squawk out a few notes." In all reality, it was a hobby of his, not something he did well. He made some strange noises but managed to make some limited music. To his credit, Teyla seemed to be enjoying herself immensely. At the very least she was smiling.

"I assume you practice this as much as you practice what I teach you?" Teyla asked.

"Oh yeah..." John hid a sly smile, memories coming back. "Just that I enjoy sparring with you way too much."

"I agree."

"Speaking of which, we should do some of that." John said, setting the guitar down.

"I will change and meet you there." Teyla said turning to leave.

John's hands shot out, pulling her down into his lap on the bed. "Later." He gently set her into a more comfortable position. "I believe we were planning on doing something before I was so rudely killed."

"You mean become married?" Teyla asked, her arms gracefully wrapping themselves around his torso.

"There's that." He admitted. "But that can wait too, it's time I fulfilled a promise to you." He pulled her closer and kissed her.

He wasn't intending for the first kiss to be this passionate, but he had underestimated just how much Teyla had missed him, and how much pain his death had caused. She wouldn't let go. For that matter, neither would he.

XXX

_I never let go of her. I remember that now. That's why I'm back here. I'm not sure if this is a gift or a curse, but I can't say__ I'm not happy. I'm reunited with my friends, and I'm pouring out my love for Teyla._

_To be honest, I'm not sure if I __deserved to come back. Basically, I've cheated death. How many others have just died? How was I capable of this? Maybe it's from knowing an ancient who was finally released from her thousands of years of punishment. Maybe __it's just who I am._

_I know I can't expect to ever do something like this again, frankly I never want to leave this place. I'm home... as in my true home. I may be from Earth but it will never be home again. Atlantis is home. The Pegasus galaxy is my__ home._

_Home is where my heart is, and she's right next to me. I've been through death, pain, and rebirth... but so has she. I've been given a second chance, and now it's time to make good on that promise._


End file.
